He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize