I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize