id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
