you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
