ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
