The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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