apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
