idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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