i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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