his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
