Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
