careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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