I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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