he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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