We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
