I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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