He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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