Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
