what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
