zippers are such a cool invention
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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