I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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