will power is for people who don't want to get laid
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
