I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
