i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
