it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
