i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
