I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
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