I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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