My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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