dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize