I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
