How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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