You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
