Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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