I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
