He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Randomize
