you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
