You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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