using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
