he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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