so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
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