Non-Jews are for practice
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
