I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
