You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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