Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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