My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize