He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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