**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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