I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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