did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
