dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
