false alarm. still invincible.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Come see our sink grown plant.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize