as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
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