This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Randomize
