I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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