PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I will pee on everything he values.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
