We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
