Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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