if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
