Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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