I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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