i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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