Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
