thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Just puked most of my soul out..
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
