OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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