I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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