Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Randomize
