How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
