garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
he thought i was a dude.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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