I can text with my tongue
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Houston, we have a blender
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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