i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
