I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
we should paint friendship bongs
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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