Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
