you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
