it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
