Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
