i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
